Austin Powers 4: Scotty's Revenge
by emziwilson
Summary: Scott kidnapps Austin and it's up to Dr. Evil to save him. Will Dr. Evil turn against his only son to help his only brother? I won't tell you! Come and read it.
1. The Kidnapping

**Austin Powers 4: Scotty's Revenge**

Yes hello. I am also obsessed with the amazing Austin Powers trilogy. I decided I should add on to the unfinished series starting where we left off (Evil Scott). I don't really give a flying rat's assif you think my story sucks, but if you do happen to like it, I would be delighted to get a review from you. NOW READ IT YOU BLASTED FOOL!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I do not own anything to do with Austin Powers. If I did own it I would have the most genius mind of comedy in the world! I however do not. The only thing I do own is the plot to my story.

**Chapter 1: The Kidnapping**

……………………………………………………………………………………………

In his California apartment, Dr. Evil leaned back in his rotating chair and waited for his long lost brother, Austin Powers, to arrive. Since the two enemies discovered that they were in fact related, Austin had insisted on rather annoying weekly visits.

(Phone rings and Dr. Evil nearly shits his pants)

"Who the hell is this?" he asked. "Basil! I thought I told you to stop calling me! I will not let you barrow my 'Time Machine' to redo the all dates you've skrewed up! Throw me a frickin bone here!"

Basil: "Dr. Evil, Its Austin! Turn the TV on to channel 7!"

(Flips through channels until he comes to number 7)

Blonde TV Reporter: "Hello New York!"

Brunette TV Reporter: "(whispers) This is California dumb ass!"

Blonde TV Reporter: "Ah, so it is. I am Marry Turner and to my left…. right…. is Farah Swan, from the nightly California News."

Brunette TV Reporter: "Anyway, yesterday morning police discovered that Austin Powers, British Shaggadelic International Spy, was missing from his groovy pad.

Blonde TV Reporter: "Later that day, police informed us that after a thorough search of San Francisco, they were unable to find Austin. However today, around 5 o' clock, we received this ransom clip."

Clip: (Shows Scott sitting in a dark room on a rotating chair) "Frau if you would just press the damn record button we could get this over with! Oh, you did? Why didn't you tell me! Um, Good evening world. I am Dr. Scott Evil, son of the stupid and no longer evil, Dr. Evil. I have here with me the famous Austin Powers. No need to fret you shall eventually get him back. All you need to do is pay me 1 Trillion Dollars by Friday at midnight. If you fail to ' Give me the money', I shall have no choice but to kill your precious Powers. I shall contact you again near the end of the week. I think you understand me. Mwahahaha, Mwahahaha! ……… Ok Frau I need to take a piss. I'll be back in a minute. Hey turn the camera off!" (Screen goes dark).

Brunette TV Reporter: "As you see, this is no laughing matter. If we cannot find the 1 Trillion dollars, the sexy Austin Powers will be killed."

Blonde TV Reporter: "And if they kill him, he wont be able to host anymore shaggadelic parties!" (gasps). "Oh my god! We need to find that money fast! Anyway, we shall keep you posted as the crime progresses. This was the New York ….."

Brunette TV Reporter: "California!"

Blonde TV Reporter: "Right! The California News Update. Tune in next time to hear about any more information on the story. Marry and Farah saying goodbye…….. Goodbye."

(Dr. Evil stares open mouthed at blank TV screen)

"Scotty does?" he whispered.

"Dr. Evil? Dr. Evil, can you hear me now?"

"Yes Basil."

"Good. Now Dr. Evil, are you willing to help us locate your son and save your brother?"

"Oh, um, of course."

"Smashing! Dr. Evil, meet me at the lab tomorrow morning so we can tell you our plan of action. Until then I guess! Goodbye Dr. Evil."

"Right, farewell."

(hangs up phone)


	2. The Mission

Ah yes the second chapter. Review if you like, Fuck off if you don't.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the plot of the story. Keri Kaviani is actually one of mybest friends and I felt like embarrasing her in front of millions. I luv you Keri remember (not that way you pervert).

**The Mission:**

"Mini Me! What did I tell you about humping the motorcycle!" Dr evil exclaimed pulling his clone away from the orange bike.

They were standing outside the S.H.I.T., or Spy Headquarters for International Transgressions. Basil had told them to wait for him outside the door.

"Where is he? We've been standing here for 2 whole minutes! My legs are going to give out!" Dr. Evil complained as he collapsed on a short stone wall. Then he began to think about Scott's recent attempt for World control.

………….

Day Dream: "Scott, I'm so proud of you! I always knew you would take over the business for daddy!" Dr. Evil skipped towards his son who was sitting on a throne like chair.

"Scotty, daddy's come to help you!"

Scott pulls out a gun and points it at Dr. Evil screaming, "You caused me psychological harm! DIE!"

…………

"Dr. Evil? Dr. Evil are you listening?"

"No Scotty! It wasn't me who put the road kill in your bed! I Swea- Oh Basil. Hello."

"Um, shall we proceed?" said a nervous Basil.

"Oh, Right. Follow me Mini Me!"

The two and a half men strolled quickly into the S.H.I.T. As they made their way to the 'Kidnapping Room', Basil gave a hurried tour of the S.H.I.T.

"This is The Water and Sewage Lab. Yes that's where the smell is coming from. And this is the Illegal Porno Lab…"

"EEEEEEEEEEE." Mini Me squealed and ran towards the door.

"No Mini Me down! Down!" Dr. Evil exclaimed as he dragged his clone away from the door.

"Ah, and here's our stop!" Said Basil opening a door to the right and letting them in. "We searched far and wide for the best person to help you in your mission, but came up rater short. Anyway, I would like you to meet your partner, Keri Kaviani. Keri abandoned her friends and family so she could date your son. She got rather pissed off when he decided to take over the world, so she came to aid us in his capture."

"Hello Dr. Evil" Keri stood up and shook Dr. Evil's hand. She had lengthy brown hair that was pulled up into a loose bun. She was slim and rather tall, but the tallness was from her green 3in. boots. The only problem was her attire. She was wearing a loose red spandex suit under a baggy blue sweatshirt. Her boots reached to about her knees, but you could just see the pink and orange knee-highs peaking out from their green dungeon.

"Right." Dr. Evil drawled looking over Keri's outfit. "Nice to meet your clothes- I-I mean meet you. Wait your clothes are nice, but I meant to say you. Not that I didn't like to meet you clothes. Yes. What were you saying Basil?"

"You and Ms. Kaviani will be working together." Basil explained." Now we have required some information about Dr. Scott's whereabouts. He seems to have built a lair deep inside Mt. Everest. You and Ms. Kaviani will need to find the entrance and infiltrate his lair."

"I see. Do we get a rocket or something to get there?" Dr. Evil questioned.


	3. The First Day on the Road

**Oh look at this. It's the next chapter. Yes I am aware it is short. GET OFF MY BACK. My ADD did not allow me to write anymore. A deep thanks to all those 5 people who reviewed last time. Remember to review or I will be forced to jinx you.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of the characters. As you may remember Keri is my friend and yes I'm using the real her for the story so you may not take her. Keri I swear I do not ummmm... dislike your clothes. You have ummm wonderful taste!**

**First Day on the Road:**

"I AM NOT GOING TO DRIVE TO MT. EVEREST!" Dr. Evil protested as they walked up to a pale pink car. "Wait no I changed my mind. I WON'T DRIVE TO MT. EVEREST IN A PINK AUTOMOBILE! IT WILL MAKE ME LOOK QUEER! I MEAN THROW ME A FRICKEN BONE HERE!"

"Dr. Evil please stop yelling and let me explain." Basil said stopping Dr. Evil's ranting. "It seems that we have run out of cars and rockets. Your brother crashed them all."

"Typical. Ok new plan. We save Austin from Scotty then I'll blind him with a lazer pointer to punish him for making me temporarily gay!" Dr. Evil demanded. "Mooohahahaha Moooohahahaha Moo-"

"Well what you do after the mission is you choice completely." Basil interrupted. "Now I suggest you get going."

"Right then." Keri said. "After you Dr. Evil."

"DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE A QUEER!"

"Of course Dr. Evil. I shall go first."

……………………………..

"Ok I think we're lost." Dr. Evil sighed as he scanned his map.

"Well let me look at it." Keri suggested.

"NO! ITS MY MAP!"

"I just want to check that we're going the right way."

"NO ITS MINE!"

Keri pulled off on the side of the road and got out. She walked around to Dr. Evil's side and dragged him out of his seat. He sat dumbly on the ground looking stoned.

"Dr. Evil, If you don't give me the map right now me and Mini Me are going to leave you all alone right here in the desert." Keri explained coolly.

"But it's my map."

Keri walked behind Dr. Evil and kicked him squarely in the back. He dropped the map and ran into the car yelling. "IT'S JUST A FRICKEN MAP! THROW ME A FRICKEN BONE HERE!"

Keri got back into the drivers seat and began to analyze the map. "I think I know why we're lost." She began furiously. "This is a map of Cedar Point Amusement Park!"

"Well you told me to get a map."

"A map of the world you idiot!"

"Oh."

………………………………

For about a day they drove down that deserted desert road. They passed no one, they saw no one. Finally Mini Me spotted a small motel off to the side of a rather large cactus. He began to alert his comrades.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He squealed pointing at the motel.

"Mini Me this is no time for a massage." Dr. Evil replied exasperatedly.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"NO! No massage Mini Me. OUCH!"

Mini Me jabbed Dr. Evil in the head with a very sharp pencil.

"KERI PULL OVER! MY BALD HEAD HAD BEEN POISIONED WITH LEAD!" He screamed as he flung open the car door and rolled out.

Keri and Mini got out of the car to find Dr. Evil ferociously rubbing his head against a cactus. Suddenly he let out a high-pitched scream and began to pluck the spines out of his skull.

"Oh look I see a motel!" Keri stated as she too spotted the shack of a lodging place. "Is that what you were trying to tell us Mini ME?"

"EEEEEEEEE"

"Ok well let's go check it out." She declared. Then Mini Me and Keri left Dr. Evil all alone crying over with aching poisoned cranium.


	4. Laura's Idea

**My next addition. Ah, I fell so pleased with myself. REVIEW OR I'LL SET MY GOBLIN HORDE AFTER YOU!**

**Disclaimer: None of this I own except the plot. Keri is my one of my best friends and Laura is my other best friend. She wished to be in it. I think I'll add the other two of our group of five to the story. OH YES! Lori is myself. Lori tis my real name. **

**Laura's Idea:**

(Meanwhile in Dr. Scott's Lair)

"LAURA!" Scott screamed to his girlfriend. "Where's my coffee!"

After his preppy and nerdy girlfriend Keri had left him, he met Laura. Laura had been in a local pub and was thrown out from beating the bartender up for cutting her off. Scott and Laura became fast friends. Laura was as evil as he was, probably even eviler. She didn't take shit from anyone.

"LAURA! Hurry up!"

"Coming Scott" Laura replied with a false smile. She had long blonde, almost white hair. Unlike Keri, she was in no way a dork. She wore a black vampires corset gown, with a black silk lace up front. The bottom of the gown was ragged and frayed. Her eyes were surrounded by a heavy layer of eyeliner and her lips a pale gray color. To top off the outfit she had high leather boots with a skull and cross bone on the toes.

She swept over to Scott and sat on his lap. "Let me help you with this dear." She said sweetly. Then she stood up and poured the scalding hot coffee on his balls. Scott screamed like a little girl and ran off to change.

"Ok Number 2, tell me about this evil plan Scotty has." She said urgently.

"Well, I think it's brilliant." He confessed. "Dr. Evil could never think of it. Scott has kidnapped Austin Powers knowing that his dad will come to save him. When his dad shows up, Sr. Scott plans on planting a microscopic bomb, designed to look like a pimple, on his father's face. Once the time is right, Scott shall blow his father and uncle up."

"Scott thought of that?" Laura said her mouth hanging open. "I thought he was a brainless git."

"Well actually he has a partner in this scheme that thought of the plan, but he won't tell us who it is."

"Well I'll just have to get it out of him wont I?" Laura smirked deviously.

………………………………………

"Hello my name is Lori, can I interest you and your midget in one of our honeymoon suites?" The hotel clerk droned without looking up from her book.

"Um, no I don't think so." Keri snapped as Mini Me squealed in delight. "I'm actually looking for a place with two bedrooms."

"So you and the Midget aren't going at it tonight?" Lori quizzed with a disapproving look at Mini Me.

"NO WE ARE NOT!" Keri yelled. "I am here on business with my partner and his clone. We are looking for a room to stay. Are there any open?"

"Yeah sure." Lori mumbled as she pulled a room key from a box under her desk. "Room 12 in the back. Come up here in the morning to check out and pay."

"Thank You!" Keri fumed and they stormed out of the office.

They met up with Dr. Evil at the car. His eyes were a little puffy and his head was a light purple color. Looked as though someone bashed his head rather than cactus spines.

"Dr. Evil, are you ok?"

"Yes I'm perfectly fine except for the fricken sharp pains now going through my fricken head!" he yelled.

"Have you been crying?"

"No! I got a fricken cactus spine stuck in my eye!"

"Oh….. Well I got us a room for the night."

"Whoop-de-do Keri!"

Inside the hotel Keri set up her computer and began to check her email. Dr. Evil and Mini Me retreated to their room swearing under their breath. After a few minutes of deleting shit mail Keri came across a video clip labeled "Austin Power's Ransom Video 2".

"Dr. Evil!" She yelped. "Come here quick!"

Dr. Evil rushed out of his room wearing a blue night cap and pink fuzzy boxers. "What the hell is it?"

Clip: (Shows Scott sitting on his rotating chair next to another lady in a winged armchair.) "Hello again, this is Dr. Scott Evil and this is my lovely assistant Laura Copp. We have come here to tell you about the change in our plans. See-"

"Let me tell them Scotty." Laura interrupted.

"As you wish dear."

"It has come to our attention that the S.H.I.T. has sent out a rescue team to bring Mr. Power's to safety. In light of this recent discovery, we now demand our money by tomorrow night. If you fail to meet our demands, I shall be forced to kill your hero. I suspect you understand this. Have fun….."

"That was wonderful dear!" Scott said in delight as he stood up to leave.

"Oh shut up you idiot. I only did that so you wouldn't get your ass fried into bacon." Laura snapped. Whacking Scott over the head, causing Scott to run around blindly. "At least I stopped you from releasing our plan to-"(Scott runs into camera and screen goes black.)

(End of clip.)

"SHIT! What is their fricken plan!" Dr. Evil spat.

"Well, I don't know, but I'm puzzled on how they knew what we were doing." Keri wondered.

"Who cares! I just want to go back to bed."

"Night Dr. Evil."

"I AM NOT QUEER!"


End file.
